THR.com:
Maria Bello's 2013 New York Times op-ed, in which the mother of one opened up about her romantic relationship with best friend Clare Munn, sparked a wide-reaching conversation about sexual orientation and identification. The Prisoners actress, 48, continues that conversation in her book of essays, Whatever … Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves, which hit shelves on April 28. THR talked to Bello about her views, her work and the consequences of her revelation.
Your book is about questioning labels. Do you believe sexuality is fluid?
Absolutely. So many people have come to me and shared stories. One
woman said the other day that she's been married for 26 years, but she
hasn't had sex with her husband in 6 years — but they are the best of
friends and great companions and she thinks he may have had an affair,
but it doesn't really matter to her. There are different ways to have
relationships and maybe it's time to start being really honest about
that. I mean the very definition of desire is to want something you
don't have; for many people in longtime committed relationships it's
very difficult to desire the same person. I always say whether you are
conservative or liberal, black, white, man, woman, whatever — sexuality
is very complicated, and let's just stop pointing fingers and start
asking questions instead.
In your book, you write that a lot of media outlets got it
wrong when your essay was published, writing that you came out as a
lesbian. Has that been hard?
It was disheartening, but I sort of expected that because that is the
easy answer. But that was not the point to the story and not the point
of my journey. In my story, traditional labels don't seem to fit anymore
for most people; they are limiting the possibility for me to become who
I am meant to be. I just don't define myself by who I have sex with.
You wrote in your New York Times piece that you wondered how coming out would affect your career. Has it?
A woman came up to me at an event — and she's a producer in
Hollywood, a well-known lesbian — and she was always a little bit rude
to me. Like, not nice at all. She said, "Welcome to the club." I said,
"I don't want to be in your club." The club I want to belong to is the
people that come from their heart and are fighting for people they love
and standing by people they love.
Despite being in a sexual relationship with a woman for the first time, this 48-year-old weirdo and mother says don't call her a 'lesbian'...right.
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